Parenting Blunders and Mistakes and how to avoid them?
Parenting is a splendid emotional workout, full of highs and lows, joys and despairs.
Sometimes you’re elated, and sometimes you’re dejected. One morning, you wake up feeling great happiness, while in the same evening feeling utterly disheartened.
Kids add rocket fuel to your emotional life. How as parents We manage these powerful feelings will eventually define the health of your relationship with your children.
Next time you’re at you are at verge of collapsing, remind yourself: Making mistakes is natural but correcting them is an art. It takes courage to admit your faults, especially to your kids. Starting over and creating a new, healthier relationship with them is a challenge. Best thing about parenting is you’re your children are the beings that give you chance to keep changing for good. Growing with your kids won’t just make you a better parent — it will also make you a better human being. I believe good parents are a combination of better characteristics of many relationships.
It needs to develop a knack for knowing your weak spots, and it will be much easier to keep cool in heated moments.
Following parenting mistakes are common which are supposed to be done by every:
1. Over controlling your Kids
Micromanagers are dedicated and hardworking folks; they love their kids and want them to succeed. The problem is that they do too much for them. As a result, their kids remain dependent on their parents and have great difficulty standing on their own; they have trouble self-governing, they lack drive and self-confidence, and, despite their inbuilt capability, they’re emotionally immature. Instead of micromanaging, give your kid the tools to be self-reliant and independent. The more your kids can succeed without you lording over them, the more drive they’ll have to succeed on their own.
2. Trying to provide every demand
The intentions around parent’s actions are usually for the well-being of the kids, but enabling is one of the most disastrous parenting tendencies. When parents pander to their kids’ every need, their kids give poor results in maintaining well-balanced relationships; they expect everyone else to cater to them. These make them scared of challenges and avoid hard work, yet demand a sense of entitlement. Emotionally, they suffer from a bizarre mix of lack of confidence and haughtiness. To avoid this trick of enabling, strive to produce personal responsibility in your kids; encourage them to achieve on their own. Stop enabling is in fact starting empowering.
3. Creating bad image to your Kids
A parent’s first and foremost job is to be a good role model. There are many parents whose ill behaviors work as very bad examples for their children. Parents that erupt in rages, blame others, tell untruths, or play the victim are subconsciously training their kids to do the same. Blaming your kids for the behaviors and bad habits you taught them is like blaming the mirror for your reflection. Behave the way you want your kids to behave. Be the role model you want your kid to follow. Above all, before you try to fix faults of your kids and their conduct, consider improving your own.
4. Bullying kids
Such parents tend to control freaks rather than understand their kids, they overwhelm them with orders, directives, threats of violence, or actual violence. They try to shape and define their children by threatening them, rather than letting their kids learn their own individuality. Sadly, children of bullying parents suffer low self-esteem as well anxiety problems; they have difficulty trusting others and fear intimacy. Bullying parents may get what they want out of their kids, but their kids suffer awfully due to this.
5. Inconsistent parenting behavior
Inconsistent parenting makes your kids and counselors most disturbed. Parents who keep on changing their minds frequently, don’t take stand in various matters, and don’t have ability to make decisions or provide solid leadership are tend to produce emotionally unstable children. These kids tend to have unbalanced cores and weak identities. They have issues in defining themselves, and often develop negative and rebellious behaviors to disguise their insecurities. It might not always be possible to provide a stable and consistent home, but providing steady and consistent parenting is always possible.
6. Criticism and Comparison with others
No one likes criticisms or comparisons. Still many parents impulsively criticize and compare their children daily by using phrases like: “Why can’t you be more like _____?” or “Why are you so _____?” This is a surefire way to impair your kids’ esteem and damage their fragile egos. Children who grew up being criticized tend to consider themselves as strangers and underachievers. They couldn’t rejoice their strengths, because they were never skilled to, a direct result of having affected by their parents’ negative comments. You should always remember that, it only takes an inconsiderate moment to emotionally wound your kids with criticism or comparisons — but this can take a lifetime for them to recover.
7. Poor Structure, Limits, and Boundaries
Providing sensible structure, limits, and boundaries is vital to healthy parenting. To understand structure, limits, and boundaries, here’s the breakdown: Structure means steady schedules and routines; limits mean cutting negative or risky behaviors by stimulating sound judgment; and boundaries mean honoring and respecting the physical and emotional space between people. Some parents are much rigid with limits while some don’t focus enough on structure or boundaries. Try to find the right balance for your children, and they will be better prepared for relationships, jobs, and the world outside your door.
8. Neglecting your child
Parents don’t set out to neglect their kids, but many do. Grown-ups get so engaged in their work that they give away their parenting responsibilities to eldest children or grandparents. They forget and miss important events in their kids’ lives, or worst of all, they become poor listeners — all forms of emotional neglect that undermine a child’s healthy sense of self. Emotionally neglected kids always suffer mood and behavioral issues. The simple act of listening to your kid has such a healing effect that helps dealing with many parenting problems. Children who feel understood by their parents don’t act out for attention and are less likely to engage in destructive behavior. Spend sufficient time listening, understanding, and identifying issues of your kid. It doesn’t cost you anything, and it will save you a fortune in therapy bills in the future.
9. Ignoring Learning Difficulties
Many educational and behavioral problems are the result of undiagnosed learning problems. Impatient parents, who are too hasty to tag kids lazy, uninterested, and lethargic about school, mostly fail to consider what can be the real cause of their kids’ attitudes toward learning. Even exceptionally smart kids suffer from difficulties with processing speed, executive functioning, and sensory and memory deficiencies. These complications often don’t appear until middle school or high school. Such learning difficulties make it a hurting and draining experience. Consider while spending your money and time; therapy and treatment isn’t going to help resolve these problems in the least. If your kid has even the slightest difficulty with learning, an educational evaluation is the first step to finding a solution.
10. Invalidating child’s Feelings
When your children share their feelings and insecurities with you, for heaven’s sake don’t deny them, correct them, offer unwanted guidance, or use it as an opportunity to boost about your experiences. Remember, they are taking a risk in sharing this; therefore your sensitivity is vital. Kids want to feel understood; they want to feel validated by their parents. Many indications of hyperactivity, rebelliousness and mood problems are generated in children of parents who nullify their emotions.
Bottom line Parenting Techniques
Parenting is a full-time job without no training or supervision. Everyone is certain to make mistakes, especially during those chaotic first years. But no need to fret; parenting is an evolutionary process. You grow into it day by day, year after year. Strive to learn from your mistakes and improve; your parental journey will be far less hindered by self-doubt and worries, and far more joyful for you and your kids.
